Episode 29 — Envy and Jealousy: Hobgoblins in Relationships

Envy is a painful symptom of disconnection from the Self. We relate envy and jealousy to early developmental dynamics, with envy related to the dyad of mother-and-baby and jealousy arriving a later, when the child realizes that sometimes he is left out of his parent’s relationship with one another. Envy is linked to early narcissism, a sense of inferiority and primal emotions, often resulting in the urge to destroy the envied person or object. Jealousy, because it is related to longing, can motivate a person to strive for what is desired. Rumi, a Persian poet, wrote about existential and universal aspects of longing for the divine, and how, inherent in the longing, lies connection.

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Here’s the dream we discuss:

“I was in a house, standing in the kitchen, an attractive and intimate young couple exits one of the rooms, there greet me and leave. The male is playful, the female is glowing they are happy. Beside me on the table is a red book, I felt as though I had written part of it. The number ’22’ and ‘Libra’ stand out. I look towards the front door, my ex fianceé walks in, she approaches me and walks right past into a dark room as I point to the book. She did not stop, make eye contact or acknowledge my presence. Her eyes had lost all sharpness, swollen, glazed over and zombie like, powerless and filled with vile, I sensed only a flickering of life within her. Surprised that I was not startled. I waited in the kitchen with fear that she may emerge from the dark room and abuse me for having ‘rearranged’ her things.”